Choosing the right egg donor for your family can at times be a daunting task but it does not have to be. There are many factors to consider and often there are so many different people who are giving their advise as to what is best.
My best advice, pick a donor who you feel comfortable and can connect with. In order to reach this end goal many intended parents have found it helpful to create a ”must have” and a ”would be nice if” list. This will allow you to look at multiple profiles and give you the opportunity to really see who might be a great fit.
When making your lists consider asking these questions.
Am I comfortable with paying for the donors travel expenses? Do I need the egg donor in Dallas, TX so can go through the whole process with my clinic. Or do you live in Austin and would be fine having an egg donor in Houston, TX who is monitored locally and then driving to Austin to complete the retrieval. This is likely a financial decision. Having a donor monitored locally and then traveling for the retrieval is far more work on the agency and doctor (the donors don’t mind) and as an intended parent you will not be responsible to make any travel arrangements.
Do you want a proven egg donor OR are you comfortable knowing the your fertility clinic is going to do very comprehensive screening to be sure that the donor is a great candidate so a first time donor works well too? All donors have to donate for the first time. Having and doctor and agency who are flexible with screening could allow you the opportunity to select a first time donor who might meet your criteria better then a proven donor. If you are not locked in with an agency by having to pay their full agency fee upfront this can allow a lot of flexibility. If choosing a traveling donor, ask your doctor what screening can be done locally to the donor to prevent travel cost and be sure you choose an agency who asks the same questions. Today there are so many screenings that will give your doctor a very good indication of how your donor will do in a cycle (FSH, AMH, antral follical count) that many intended parents are very satisfied with the initially screening process that allows them to choose the best donor regardless of their past donor (or lack thereof) experience.
Most intended parents want to find a ”connection” with the egg donor. Sometimes this is based on physical characteristics, personality, interests, goals in life, or sometimes it has to do with the donors willingness to be a ”known/open donor”. Decide what factors are most important to you and put those on your list.
Our last piece of advice. When searching, try not to put more constraints on your list then you need to. I have often worked with intended parents who have chosen a donor they never saw in their first search because she was 1 inch shorter than their ”criteria” or decided that since brown eyes was dominant in their family that choosing a donor with green would be worth the gamble of having green eyed child because she meet all other criteria.
Bottom line, the choice of an egg donor is up to you as an intended parent. If you have advice on who you chose an egg donor for you family please share. If you are looking for an agency who is flexible and will keep bringing you newly screened donors to review, consider contacting Egg Donor Solution,to help you find the right donor for your family!