Resources for Intended Parents

As an agency, we are committed to guiding and supporting intended parents throughout their journey to parenthood. This includes providing education on the egg donation process, as well as resources where you can find more information. Below is a list of book recommendations for intended parents compiled by our team. We hope these books will be helpful as you process the decision of choosing an egg donor to help you grow your family.

  1. Let’s Talk About Egg Donation: Real Stories from Real People
    By Marna Gatlin, Carole Lieber Wilkins and John Hesla 

Let’s Talk About Egg Donation was written by, for and about families built through egg and embryo donation. It takes the reader on a journey – from infertility diagnosis, to pregnancy, to how to talk to your child about egg donation. Let’s Talk About Egg Donation tells true stories of real families who are parenting via egg and embryo donation. Their stories are woven throughout the book to craft an informative, easy-to-read narrative that focuses on positive language choices. This is the first book written by parents through egg donation that gives you age-appropriate scripts for how to take the scary out of talking to your kids about the special way in which they were conceived.

  1. We Are Family: The Modern Transformation of Parents and Children
    By Susan Golombok

The past few decades have seen extraordinary change in the idea of a family. The unit once understood to include two straight parents and their biological children has expanded vastly –
same-sex marriage, adoption, IVF, sperm donation and other forces have enabled new forms to take shape. This has resulted in enormous upheaval and controversy, but as Susan Golombok shows in this compelling and important book, it has also meant the health and happiness of parents and children alike.

Golombok’s stories, drawn from decades of research, are compelling and dramatic: family secrets kept for years and then inadvertently revealed; children reunited with their biological parents or half siblings they never knew existed; and painful legal battles to determine who is worthy of parenting their own children. Golombok explores the novel moral questions that changing families create, and ultimately makes a powerful argument that the bond between family members, rather than any biological or cultural factor, is what ensures a safe and happy future.

  1. Three Makes Baby: How to Parent Your Donor-Conceived Child
    By Jana Rupnow

Millions of people dream of having a baby but struggle for years with infertility or seek other unconventional ways to build a family. In an era of new options in reproductive medicine, many couples are using a third person’s egg, sperm, or embryo to conceive. Having a child with another person’s genetics is complex. Couples have concerns about how donor conception will affect their future family life, especially their child. Confusion and fear can leave parents feeling unequipped on this path to parenthood. Shame and unresolved grief about infertility create silence around a controversial topic that needs a voice. Secrets can hurt a family.

A fertility counselor addresses your urgent questions: Why should we tell our child we’re not genetically related? How do we tell our child about donor conception? And when is the best time? What if my child is upset? What if I don’t feel like the real parent? Will others treat our family differently? Should we keep the donor a secret? You can learn to overcome fears that make you want to keep a secret – yet maintain your family’s privacy. This book offers education and awareness so parents can guide their donor-conceived children through various stages of development with age-appropriate conversations.

  1. The Ultimate Guide for Gay Dads: Everything You Need to Know about LGBTQ Parenting But Are (Mostly) Afraid to Ask
    By Eric Rosswood

Are you ready to have kids? More and more gay men are turning to adoption and surrogacy to start their own families. An estimated two million American LBGTQ people would like to adopt, and an estimated 65,000 adopted children are living with a gay parent. In 2016, Chicago Tribune reported that 10 to 20 percent of donor eggs went to gay men expanding their families via surrogacy, and in many places the numbers were up 50 percent from the previous five years.

Gay parenting. Having a kid is like coming out all over again, on a daily basis, especially if you have an infant. Was coming out stressful for you? It’s about to get more intense and you will have a child watching your every move and listening to your every word. If you stutter or pause, they may pick up on your discomfort and could start to feel like something is wrong about their family unit. The Ultimate Guide For Gay Dads is jam packed with parenting tips and advice to help you build confidence and become the awesome gay dad you were meant to be!

How Is This Parenting Guide Different From Others? Unlike other parenting books that have whole chapters focusing on things specifically related to mothers (such as how to get the perfect latch when breastfeeding), this parenting book replaces those sections with things relevant to gay dads. It covers topics like how to find LGBT friendly pediatricians, how to find LGBT friendly schools, how to childproof your home with style, how to answer awkward and prying questions about your family from strangers, examples for what two-dad families can do on Mother’s Day, and much more. The book also includes parenting tips and advice from pediatricians, school educators, lawyers and other same-sex parents.

Top LGBT parenting expert. Bestselling author Eric Rosswood covers every aspect of fatherhood for gay men in this essential guide to growing your family in the post-DOMA era. He is a major influencer on social media with over 100,000 followers on Twitter alone, as well as thousands on other platforms.

  1. Insider’s Guide to Egg Donation: A Compassionate and Comprehensive Guide For All Parents-to-Be
    By Wendy Wilson-Miller

Each year, over 7.3 million Americans face infertility. In their search for answers and alternative means for building a family, they turn to the nearly 500 reproductive specialty clinics across the U.S.

Same-sex and single-by-choice parents are more prevalent than ever in the fertility industry, and there is no definitive, up-to-date guide to help families of all types approach egg donation. Resources are fragmented, and that’s true regardless of your family “type.”

Insider’s Guide to Egg Donation is the first how-to-handbook that helps families of all types navigate the less talked about but widely practiced egg donor landscape with a warm and friendly tone, giving those in need of a different kind of stork the answers and information they need as they begin to research family-building options.

The Insider’s Guide to Egg Donation answers:

  • What do I need to know about the medical process of using an egg donor?
  • What are the latest reproductive medicine technologies that we should know about?
  • What should I consider when choosing a fertility clinic?
  • How should I evaluate potential egg donor agencies?

6.  Having Your Baby Through Egg Donation                                                                                                                     By Ellen Sarasohn Glazer and Evelina Weidman Sterling

Having Your Baby Through Egg Donation is a helpful, authoritative guide to negotiating the complex and emotive issues that arise for those considering whether or not to pursue egg donation. It presents information clearly and with compassion, exploring the practical, financial, logistical, social and ethical questions that commonly arise. This fully updated second edition also includes recent developments in the field, including travelling for egg donation and the emerging field of epigenetics.

This book will be valued by all those considering or undergoing donor conception, as well as the range of professionals who support them, including infertility counsellors, psychologists, therapists and social workers.

Additional Recommendations

For children’s books about egg donation, check out the following articles on our Intended Parents Blog:
Children’s Books to Help Explain Egg Donation

Children’s Books for Families with Same-Sex Parents

 

 

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We help Intended Parents Create Happy Families via Egg Donation & Surrogacy  

with the help of caring Egg Donors & Surrogates.

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