Intended Parents Share Why They Chose Their Egg Donors

Written by: Hillary Redwine | Posted: October 22, 2020

Have you ever wondered how intended parents choose their egg donors? What is their thought process? What is most important to them? We recently posed these questions to some of our former intended moms, and ­­what stood out most in their responses was the desire to feel a connection with their donors.

Physical characteristics play a role, but more importantly, intended parents want to have a sense of the donor’s personality and her character. They want to get to know you! That’s why we encourage our egg donors to update their profiles at least every six months, provide detailed answers to the profile questions and upload a video message for intended parents, sharing a little about themselves and why they want to be an egg donor.

Read on to learn why these moms chose their donors and how they feel today about the women who helped them create their families.

The Moms

Carrie Collier-BrownTwins Cooper and Zoe, age 5 (also has a biological daughter Willow, age 10)

Jennifer DunnSon Bennett, age 2

Amy Huston
Daughter Hallie, age 1 (also has a biological son, Eli, age 4)

Hillary RedwineDaughter Corinne, age 5

What was most important to you in choosing an egg donor? Did what was most important change over time?

Amy: Initially, finding a donor with similar physical characteristics was very important to me, but in the end, what mattered most was choosing someone we felt we had a connection to, whose personality was likable and relatable, and who gave us the best chance for success. I had to get over some things that I had a hard time letting go of but that didn’t really matter at the end of the day. I realized I wanted a baby more than I wanted a baby who looked like me. I felt like it was the baby I was intended to have, so it was easy to have peace about that.

Carrie: Everyone in our family has blue eyes, so we wanted a donor with blue eyes. That was the only physical attribute we really cared about. It was important to us to choose someone who would be open to being in contact with our family for medical reasons while our children are minors and also be open to our children reaching out to her once they turn 18 if that’s something they want to do. At the time we went through the process in 2014, that might have limited our options some, but we were okay with that.

Jennifer: For me, it wasn’t based on looks at all. I wanted to feel some sort of connection. When I saw a photo of our donor and saw her smile, it looked like she was also smiling with her eyes. It seemed like her happiness would be contagious. She just looked like a very kind and warm person. 

Hillary: Initially, I really wanted to find a donor who had red hair like me. I think the idea of having a redheaded child was ingrained in me after years of people commenting on my hair and saying wouldn’t it be neat if I had redheaded kids. But even with a biological child, there is no guarantee that he or she would have my hair color. Ultimately, the physical characteristics didn’t matter as much. When we narrowed down what was most important, it was family health history, education and answers to the profile questions. I wanted to get a sense that the donor was a good person and someone I could be friends with. I also wanted someone who was willing to meet in person and would be open to meeting any future children.

Why did you choose your donor? Can you describe the connection you felt that made you decide to choose her?

Amy: Our donor’s eyes are similar in color and shape to mine, so it was nice to have that physical characteristic in common. She was at the top of both mine and my husband’s lists because we loved her answers to the essay questions, as well as her family values and interests.  When you read through the donor profiles, you get a sense of if you would like and relate to that person. Our donor seemed like someone I would be friends with, and that connection was so important to me. She also seemed like someone who was loyal and trustworthy. She liked the same books, foods and music that I do. While I was not able to meet my donor or get to know her personally, these things we had in common were what made me choose her. She had so many traits we loved and would love to pass on to our daughter. 

Carrie: We liked that she had thoughtful responses on the questionnaire. She mentioned having a friend or family member who had struggled with infertility, and that was part of the reason she wanted to be a donor. We also did a Skype session with our donor, and it went very well. She wasn’t too young and had been a donor before, so we felt like she had a good sense of the commitment involved with being an egg donor. After a negative experience at another agency, that was important to us.

Jennifer: In reading our donor’s bio, I felt like she was doing it for the right reasons. She talked a lot about her family and how much she loved them, so that endeared me to her. As I mentioned, I felt a connection when I saw her photo. It’s hard to explain, but I just knew she was the one.

Hillary: Based on her profile, she seemed like she would be a very fun and interesting person. She mentioned being an artist, playing the saxophone and belonging to a hula-hoop troop. She indicated that she was very close to her family, and it seemed like she really wanted to help another family by being an egg donor. I met her for dinner before the egg retrieval and got to know her some. She was very kind and genuine. As we said goodbye, we hugged, and she said that I was going to be a great mom. That has always stuck with me, and I think speaks to the kind of person she is.

How do you feel about your donor now? What would you say to her?

Amy: Our daughter is such a joy. I’m so grateful there are people who are willing to help others have a family. I would tell our donor thank you for helping us complete our family. I would also want to ask her about some of my daughter’s traits to see if she gets them from the donor.

Carrie: I would tell her thank you. Right after the twins were born, I was very emotional about it. I sent our donor a letter through the Donor Sibling Registry thanking her. Now that it’s been several years, the fact that our twins are donor-conceived doesn’t feel so overwhelming. It’s just part of their story.

Hillary: I will always be very grateful to our donor because without her, I wouldn’t have my daughter. And I honestly can’t image having any other child. I recently reconnected with our donor and shared some photos and information about our family. She is open to staying in touch, and I am thankful­ for that as well. My daughter may have questions as she gets older, and I want to make sure she has access to any information she needs or wants in the future.

Jennifer: I love our donor, and I think about her every day. It takes a very special human being to give someone the gift of egg donation. I recently joined the Donor Sibling Registry, and we’ve found each other. I feel like we have a connection already, and I look forward to every message. We just recently shared our personal information. I hope that she becomes a part of our lives in any capacity she is comfortable with. I feel so relieved that we were able to make this connection. It’s important not only for Bennett and myself but for her as well. She will always hold a special place in my heart. I can’t put into words what she means to me. 

Getting selected as an egg donor
Have you been approved as an egg donor but are still waiting to be matched with intended parents? Check out our tips for making your profile stand out to get selected faster. If you have questions or need help with your profile, please contact us at donor@eggdonorsolutions.com. 

Amy’s Story: Having a second child through egg donation

Written by: admin | Posted: September 15, 2020

As an egg donor, have you ever wondered about the lasting impact you can have by helping to create a family? Like so many intended parents, Amy Huston and her husband, Evan, are grateful for the egg donor who helped them expand their family and provide a sibling for their son.

Amy has a heart condition that prevents her from safely carrying a pregnancy, so she and Evan used gestational carriers (or surrogates) for both of their children – Eli, age four, and Hallie, age one. Eli was conceived after three rounds of invitro fertilization using Amy’s eggs while Hallie was conceived with the help of a donor.

Deciding to use an egg donor

Because of Amy’s health condition, extra precautions had to be taken during her egg retrievals, like having them done in an operating room instead of a fertility clinic. And as Amy explains, she “never got great results” with any of her retrievals.

When Eli was six months old, Amy and Evan decided to try for a second child. They transferred their last remaining frozen embryo with a surrogate, but it didn’t take. “After that, we decided to use an egg donor for our next attempt to have another baby,” Amy says.

Will I love them the same?

For intended parents who already have a biological child or children, it can add another layer of complexity to the process of having a child via egg donation. Questions like “Will I compare him or her to my biological child?” or “Will I love a non-biological child the same?” may come to mind.

“It’s hard when you first learn that an egg donor is your best option, but over time, you come to realize what an incredible option it is,” Amy says. “Any reservations you have about loving a child – you don’t have to worry because you will.  Once that child is here, you get to just be a family. You’re that child’s parent, and it’s wonderful.”

Amy adds that she loves Eli and Hallie “equally but differently” because of who they are as individuals. “They are each their own unique person that we are getting to know,” she says.

The role of nurture

Some of her children’s traits can be attributed to genetics, like Eli’s resemblance to Amy and Evan and Hallie’s personality, which Amy describes by saying, “She’s a firecracker!” Noting that it’s not a trait Hallie gets from her or Evan, Amy says that she would love to ask her donor if she was as fiery as Hallie as a child.

There are other characteristics that are a reflection of how Amy nurtures her children and the values she and Evan are instilling in them. For example, as a speech pathologist, Amy has been focused on helping her children develop language skills from an early age – something Hallie has been able to pick up quickly. “She’s very language driven,” Amy says. “It amazes me what a good communicator she is at just a year old.”

Amy also describes how Hallie has embraced her parent’s love of the beach, which is evident during the family’s trips to the ocean. “She loves it,” Amy says. “It’s neat to see how some of the things we have purposefully put into Hallie’s life are things she enjoys and are shaping her into the person she will become.”

Grateful for her “miracle” children

Whenever Amy’s mom calls to ask about Eli and Hallie, she always says, “How are your miracle children?” And as Amy explains, “They really are little miracles.”

She adds, “It’s amazing that we were able to have both of our children. It was with the help of a lot of people, and I’m so grateful that there are people who are willing to help others have a family.”

Could you help intended parents like Amy and Evan have a child? We are thankful for all our donors at Egg Donors Solutions who are helping to create happy families! If you are a donor who is currently waiting to be matched, check out our tips for getting selected as an egg donor. Or, If you have considered becoming an egg donor and would like more information, you can review our egg donor criteria and frequently asked questions. You may also contact us directly at donor@eggdonorsolutions.com, and we would be happy to answer any questions.

Rewards of being an egg donor

Written by: Barette Best | Posted: August 21, 2020

If a couple is unable to build or expand their family in the ways that they hoped; they need the help of someone else. This couple is searching for the right method to fit their fertility needs.

There are so many benefits to being an egg donor. It isn’t easy to be the donor. It is time consuming and at times can require you to rearrange your schedule to meet the needs of the egg donation cycle. However, there are some amazing rewards to being an egg donor.

Being a donor has many benefits that may not be realized from the beginning.

• Your donation benefits the intended parents and the potential child. It may seem obvious but to the intended parents that you are a hero. The egg donor is the one to make their desire to have a healthy child in their lives come true. You are amazing!!

• As an egg donor, you will help to create a mom, dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins. As an egg donor, you are helping to make dreams come true & create a family. The child will be able to have parents that will love and raise it, the child will also know that they were loved and chosen because his or her parents went through a lot of heartache to conceive.  

• You are offering the greatest act of giving. All over the world there are infertile couples that are finding it hard to eliminate their fertility issues. 15% of couples are infertile and search for options to help them have a family. The egg donor gets to be that gift for the couple, allowing them the ability to have a family. This is one of the most trusting and noble things that any woman can do, giving your egg to another to have a child they would otherwise not have. You will forever be a part of that family’s story.

• There are selfish benefits as well. It may seem selfish to think of the benefits that are only yours. It is generous to become an egg donor and you will be remembered by the couple forever, however you will be compensated by participating in an egg donation cycle. An individual will be compensated anywhere from $7,000 to $14,000 for their time and commitment. 
• Another benefit is that of the egg will often be screened medically to qualify for the process and it can help a donor learn more about themselves and their genetic makeup. You will learn if you are a carrier of any genetic mutation, you will learn about your own genetic health.  Lastly, you are doing something not many would do. You are selflessly helping to create a family & that is amazing. We are so thankful for you & so very proud of you!

No matter the circumstances that have caused you to decide to be an egg donor, never forget that you are doing one of the most selfless things another person can give an infertile couple.

As a donor you will not only be giving a child the ability to grow healthy, happy, and loved. You are also offering an infertile couple a chance that they may never have gotten another way. If you are interested in learning more about the rewards of being an egg donor we encourage you to contact the caring staff at Egg Donor Solutions. We also invite you to share with your friends. There are so many couples waiting for someone like you to help them!