How being an egg donor paid for my dream wedding
Written by: Jordyn Shafer | Posted:
December 2015 was a tough month for me. I was nearing 6 months of living on my own for the first time, I had totaled by car a few weeks prior and just wasn’t really in the Christmas spirit. To help with my bah humbug feelings I decided to do something about it. So, I went to my closet, pulled out all my Christmas decorations and decorated every nook and cranny of my one-bedroom apartment. Once every strand of lights was lit and every ornament was in its place, I sat down on my couch, pulled my laptop out and began my search.
I typed “Egg Donation” in the search engine, but I had already done a ton of research on the topic and wasn’t really looking for more information, instead I was looking for the agency I wanted to apply with. I browsed a few websites but most seemed very clinical, cold and lifeless which seemed odd to me, since egg donation was literally giving life to someone else. Then, as if Google itself could hear my thoughts, I came across a site that had color, warmth and yes… life! That night I filled out my application with Egg Donor Solutions and what I would one day find out, changed my life completely.
At the end of December that year I found myself on my first date with my future husband, but I didn’t know that at the time. We were very honest with each other even from that first meal we shared. We talked about everything you’re not supposed talk about on first dates from exes, to marriage, and children. It was once the topic of children was brought up that I decided to tell him that just earlier that month I applied to be an egg donor. Like many people when they are first introduced to egg donation, he confused it with surrogacy. We spoke about the differences, I let him know that I could be selected by a family as early as tomorrow or as late as never, but it was something that was extremely important to me and if we were to continue any relationship I would want him to be supportive. Turns out, he was the most supportive person throughout the process.
In January 2017 we moved into our first apartment together. It was a beautiful two-bedroom two-bathroom apartment at a brand-new complex. We were the first to live in this unit, which really made it feel like ours, even though it wasn’t. I was standing in our kitchen when I received a text from an unknown number. All I read was “Hi, I’m Meg from Egg Donor Solutions,” before my heart leapt from my chest! “Could this be? Have I been selected? Is there a set of parents interested in me being their donor?” I opened the message and read it over and over again. The answer was yes!!!! There was in fact a set of intended parents interested in using me! I screenshot the message from Meg and immediately sent it to my boyfriend. He was at work but was so happy for me that he stepped out of the office to call me. We talked it over briefly, then I texted Meg back to let her know I was indeed interested.
There are a lot of perks about egg donation, but the financial gain wasn’t one that I often thought about prior. I was always more interested in the idea that I helped create a family. That because of me, a family that longed for but couldn’t have a baby, now has one. However, it was in that moment that I was faced with the thought of, “What am I going to do with the compensation?” There were a lot of passing thoughts, but I landed on the idea of my boyfriend and I taking a vacation out of the country. You see, my boyfriend and I were starting to talk more and more about the possibility of getting married. We talked in lengths about our goals, our wants and our needs before marriage and one thing that always stood out to me was that he wanted to leave the country before he got married. I wanted to help make that goal a reality.
On February 22nd 2017, I went in for my egg retrieval. The procedure was very short, and I was in and out of the clinic within 2 hours. I didn’t really have any side effects other than just bloating, but I went home and relaxed. My care coordinator from Egg Donor Solutions emailed to check in with me and to see how I was doing. She also let me know that my compensation would be sent out that day, as I selected the check option versus the direct deposit. Within a week my check was delivered to my mailbox. My boyfriend and I did some research over places to visit we decided upon Aruba. We weren’t in a hurry and figured September would be a nice time to go since my cousin was getting married in Seattle in September. Our plan was to attend her wedding and leave the day after for our Caribbean vacation. Once the compensation was available in my account, we booked our tickets and hotel, got our passports and prepared for the best vacation ever!
When September rolled around, we were so excited! We had marked every restaurant we wanted to try, every beach we wanted to go to and every excursion we wanted to do! We attended my cousins wedding, but really our thoughts were on Aruba. The morning after the wedding we got to the airport ten hours before our plane was scheduled to depart. As we waited around, we saw multiple family members heading back to their homes and wishing us a great vacation. 30 minutes before our boarding time I had a grand idea of booking a limo to pick us up from the airport in Aruba to drop us off at our hotel. Before submitting payment and finalizing the booking I decided to take one last glance at our gate. There it was, in big red letters, “CANCELLED”. Our much-anticipated trip was gone, just like that.
We caught a red eye back to DFW and headed home. I had so many emotions running through my body. Sad because we weren’t headed to a sunny island, worried that I hadn’t made his wants a reality, just overall bummed because it was something we had looked forward to. It took a few days, but we received all the money back and it felt like I was back at square one. “What do I want to do with my compensation?” We put the thought on hold as we geared up for the holidays. We drove down to Houston for Thanksgiving to spend time with his family. It was on Thanksgiving Day in 2017 that we decided just how to spend that compensation. It was all because he asked that one question, “Will You Marry Me?”
We spent the next two years planning every detail of our wedding. We used the compensation of my first cycle and the compensation I received after completing a second cycle. We would never have been able to afford the wedding we had without the compensation from those cycles. I know ever girl dreams of their wedding since they are four years old and has Pinterest boards filled with their dreams of their perfect day. I was the exact same!! Because of egg donation those boards and inspiration were brought to life. Though I went into Egg Donation without the main thought being the compensation, I am extremely grateful for the wedding it helped provide.
November 16th, 2019 will always be a day I remember. Not just because I got to marry the man of my dreams, but because all the photos and videos are a reminder that because I helped create these families my dreams were also made possible for me. I am so blessed to know that through my two egg donation cycles both families were able to get pregnant and because of my two cycles three beautiful families were created. Because of Egg Donor Solutions we are all going to live happily every after.
