Our baby will come to us at the right time in exactly the right way.
These are the words that Amy and her husband, Tim, read together every night before bed and first thing every morning to bring themselves comfort throughout their infertility journey. Amy created the sign and kept it on their dresser as a reminder to stay focused and have faith that the child they longed for would one day come into their lives.
Their dream came true in January of this year when their beautiful daughter, Ester, was born. “She is truly our miracle baby,” says Amy, who had three rounds of IVF and experienced two miscarriages before conceiving Ester with the help of an egg donor.
Amy began looking into egg donation before the third round of IVF, wanting to be prepared for the next step in case the cycle wasn’t successful. Having a known donor was at the top of the list of criteria. When asked why she chose her donor, Amy says:
“I can’t explain how or why I knew she was meant to be our donor; I just did. I felt it as soon as I viewed her profile. We kept coming back to her time and time again as our top pick. Her personality, hobbies, likes and even career aligned with mine. We both really admired that she had been a surrogate, was married, had a child and was still willing to help a couple create their own loving family. I reviewed donor candidates with my close friends and they all, without a doubt, chose her right away. They couldn’t really explain it either, just that, ‘You can see kindness in her eyes and happiness in her smile,’ and ‘Yep, she is the one. She is perfect!’”
As she prepares to celebrate her first Mother’s Day with Tim and Ester, Amy took the time to answer a few questions from our team and reflect on the joy of motherhood. Here’s what she had to say.
EDS: Why was having a known donor important to you?
Amy: I chose a known donor because it was very important to me that our child always knows her unique special story of how she came to be. The gift of egg donation is incredibly special, and I feel it needs to be recognized. I began telling Esther about the beautiful, kind woman who helped mommy and daddy make her while she was still in the womb, and we continue to tell her now. We have many children’s books on egg donation and read them regularly to her.
Esther will always know the role that egg donation played in her creation. By Esther knowing her unique story and by everyone around her knowing the story, hopefully it will normalize egg donation for her. It will never be a shock to her, nor will she ever feel ashamed. In our family, egg donation is a gift and something to be celebrated. So, with that said, it was very important to me that Esther had the option at any time to reach out to the donor or any donor siblings.
Having a known donor throughout this process has been comforting. We communicated with each other early on during the process. Hearing her words of encouragement helped me feel so at ease and relaxed about everything. We continue to communicate through the Donor Sibling Registry. I send her regular updates and probably way too many photos, but I can’t help wanting to show off my precious baby.
EDS: What is a typical day like for your family?
Amy: We live by Esther’s baby routine. Wake, feed, play, nap, wake, feed, play, nap. We enjoy play time the most. Esther is a very happy baby and loves to practice using her voice. She has an adorably gummy smile that captivates all who encounter her. Multiple times a week we have visitors or go on mom and baby field trips while daddy is at work.
EDS: What is the best part about being a mom?
Amy: I love baby snuggles the most, smelling her little head and kissing her chubby cheeks. I love watching Esther sleep and imagining the kind of person she will be when she grows up.
I love witnessing the wonder in her eyes as she is experiencing the world with me as her guide. Teaching Esther how to see, experience and enjoy this world is so rewarding.
My heart also fills with so much joy as I watch my husband with Esther. The wonderment in his eyes and the love he has for her is so palpable. That is the most heartwarming and honestly the best part about being a mom, being able to share it with him.
EDS: How will you spend Mother’s Day?
Amy: I’m going to sleep in and take a nice long, hot bath! Then we are going to brunch at the Aquarium. In the afternoon, we will start work on our garden.
EDS: What message would you share with your donor in honor of Mother’s Day about her role in helping to create your family?
Amy: The possibility of carrying Tim’s child despite my infertility is an extraordinary miracle, and it is all because of you. We are so grateful for your willingness to provide us with the gift of life. Your generosity is so valued and cherished by us. Your role in contributing to our happiness and bringing joy into our lives is so incredibly amazing and fills my heart with so much love.
Tim and I are the happiest we have ever been in our lives, and our love is deep and true. Our love for our child is already so pure and good. We have so many plans, hopes and dreams for our family. We are beyond thrilled to become parents as we grow our loving family. Please know we will treasure what you have been able to give to us, and we will never forget your kindness and generosity. We appreciate you more than you will ever know.