At Egg Donor & Surrogate Solutions, our passion is helping to create happy families by matching intended parents with compatible egg donors and surrogates. The impact of creating a happy family often reaches far beyond the intended parents. There are siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends who are thrilled to welcome the long-awaited little one into the family.
That was certainly the case for Avni’s family following the birth of her twin sons in 2021. She and her husband had been wanting to add to their family for several years to give their older daughter, now age 13, a sibling.
“We were seeing how alone our daughter was feeling,” Avni says. “Most of our friends have two or three children, and they were always busy with their siblings. She was always looking for someone to play with her.”
Avni had one positive pregnancy after her daughter, but it ended in a miscarriage at eight weeks. After deciding to see a fertility specialist, she learned that she had a low egg count. “We decided to take a chance [to try IVF] with my own eggs, but it didn’t work,” she explains. “That’s when our doctor suggested an egg donor.”
Egg Donor Solutions (EDS) was one of the agencies recommended by her physician. “The transparency with EDS is very good,” Avni says. “They let us know what was going on with the donor at every step, what medications she was taking, etc. Our journey was long because of Covid, but EDS made our path very smooth.”
Choosing their donor
Avni shares how the donor she and her husband chose initially stood out to them because of her resemblance to their daughter. “When we were browsing the profiles, the first thing that clicked for us about our donor’s profile is how much her baby pictures looked like our daughter when she was baby,” Avni says. “They have very similar features, and that helped us feel connected to her.”
They were also drawn to the donor’s tight-knit relationship with her family, something that was evident in her photos and her answers to the profile questions. Being part of the Indian culture, close family ties are important to Avni and her husband.
“Even though it’s becoming more common, divorce is still considered a ‘no no’ in the Indian culture,” she explains. “We wanted someone who is a family person. We could tell from her photos that her family is very intact. Her parents and grandparents are still together. We could tell she is very connected to her family, especially her mom and sister.”
Avni also shares how her donor went above and beyond to help them create their family after the first attempt at the egg retrieval did not go as planned. “The number of eggs were good, but they were not mature enough,” Avni explains. “Our doctor said he could increase the dosage of her medication and have her come back in two days, if she was willing.”
Even though the donor’s legal obligation was over, she chose to stay in town the extra two days and go back for the retrieval, which was successful the second time. Avni wrote a letter to her donor to thank her, and she and her husband also sent gifts.
“We wanted to do more for her because she went out of her way to help us,” Avni says. “I don’t have the words to thank her and express to her how much she has changed our lives. She made our family.”
Meeting her babies
Avni had a difficult pregnancy and spent the last seven weeks in the hospital on bedrest. Due to Covid restrictions, only her husband was able to visit her in the hospital. Their twins were delivered at 32 weeks via an emergency C-section. Despite being early, the babies were nearly five pounds each and 17 inches long.
“I’m proud that I was able to carry them for 32 weeks,” Avni says. “The nurses in the NICU kept telling me that I did a good job and said how they didn’t look like preemies.”
She says the best part was getting to touch them in the NICU for the first time. “When you’ve been longing to have a child and the moment is finally here….it was the most wonderful experience,” Avni says. “I’m so thankful everything came together the way we wanted so we could have these two babies.”
Bonding as a family
The twins have completed their family. They have been welcomed with open arms by their sister, their grandparents and a village of extended family and friends who are eager to help. Likely one of the greatest joys for Avni is seeing her daughter interact with the babies.
“She’s very connected to them,” Avni says. “She comes home from school and the first thing she asks is ‘how are the twinkies?’ She helps me a lot. She loves to feed them and play with them.”
Avni’s in-laws stayed for the first few months to help with the twins. Now, her mother is staying with the family. “My in-laws are happy, and my parents are happy,” she says. “Everyone is very connected and excited to see them and help us raise them. Most of our friends have older kids, so they will come over and play with the babies, too.”
As Avni reflects on her experience, she says, “The journey is hard and long, but it’s worth it.” Her advice for other intended parents? “If you really want to grow your family and an egg donor is your best option, you should do it,” she says. “You will be proud that you chose to have a family this way.”