Choosing the right egg donor for your family can at times be a daunting task but it does not have to be. There are many factors to consider and often there are so many different people who are giving their advice as to what is best. My best advice, pick a donor who you feel comfortable and can connect with. In order to reach this end goal many intended parents have found it helpful to create a ”must have” and a ”would be nice if” list. This will allow you to look at multiple profiles and give you the opportunity to really see who might be a great fit.
When making your lists consider asking these questions. Am I comfortable with paying for the donor’s travel expenses? Do I need the egg donor locally so can go through the whole process with my clinic, are we comfortable with traveling?
This is likely a financial decision. Having a donor monitored locally and then traveling for the retrieval is far more work on the agency and doctor (the donors don’t mind) and as an intended parent, you will not be responsible to make any travel arrangements.
Do you want a proven egg donor OR are you comfortable knowing that your fertility clinic is going to do very comprehensive screening to be sure that the donor is a great candidate so a first-time donor works well too? All donors have to donate for the first time. Having and doctor and agency that are flexible with screening could allow you the opportunity to select a first-time donor who might meet your criteria better than a proven donor.
If choosing a traveling donor, ask your doctor what screening can be done locally for the donor to prevent travel costs,s and be sure you choose an agency that asks the same questions. With things going on in the world currently, ask what those monitoring appointments look like & seek if they can be scheduled locally for her to reduce travel.
Today there are so many screenings that will give your doctor a very good indication of how your donor will do in a cycle (FSH, AMH, antral follicular count) that many intended parents are very satisfied with the initial screening process that allows them to choose the best donor regardless of their past donor (or lack thereof) experience.
Most intended parents want to find a ”connection” with the egg donor. Sometimes this is based on physical characteristics, personality, interests, and goals in life, or sometimes it has to do with the donor’s willingness to be a ”known/open donor”. Decide what factors are most important to you and put those on your list.
Our last piece of advice when searching, try not to put more constraints on your list than you need to. We have often worked with intended parents who have chosen a donor they never saw in their first search because she was 1 inch shorter than their ”criteria” or decided that since brown eyes were dominant in their family that choosing a donor with green would be worth the gamble of having a green-eyed child because she meets all other criteria.
We look forward to working with you, guiding you and your donor through the process, and creating a happy family! We at Egg Donor Solutions are here to support and guide you all every step of the way!
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